Tea and Pens
by Vikingrawr
Summary: When England meets a new friend at a tea shop, things get... SLIMY...! Rated M for orphan nomming.


England was depressed on this fine day. America brought up the revolution again at that day's meeting, and it made his eyebrows sad. He decided to go to his favorite tea shop for comfort. He needed comfort tea if he ever hoped to make his eyebrows happy again. He entered the shop and it was PACKED AS FUCK. I mean, there were 5 people to a table. How fucking rediculous! But he wasn't going to deprive himself of his favorite tea just because he can't drink it in peace! He walked up to the rather attractive young woman waitress at the counter. "Excuse me, is there anyplace my and my eyebrows can sit and drink some tea?" He pet his eyebrows, which seemed to make a wimpering noise. The woman looked at him. "There's a booth right there where someone's sitting, but I don't think they'll mind some company." She smiled rather suggestively. That's when he noticed her skimpy attire. Her suggestive smile grew. "Do you like my outfit? I'm a hooker on the weekends." He cringed. "Classy..." He turned and walked towards the booth. She smacked her lips. "You don't know what the fuck you're missing." She was about to walk into the back, but then some wild cougars walked in and ate the fuck outta her. Igirisu walked up to the booth he was directed to. He saw a young man with rather sexy tidy hair, unlike his. "Excuse me, sir." The man looked up at him. "Um, The hooker waitress over there getting mauled by cougars told me that my eyebrows and I could sit here with you while I drink my tea." The young man smiled. "Of course. Have a seat." Igirisu smiled back and sat down. Since he was a regular here, he already knew what he wanted. That hooker must have just started or something. The young man reached his hand across the table. "My name's Raito." Igirisu took his hand and shook. "I'm Iggy." He pulled his hand back and looked over at the counter akwardly. Not to look away, but as if if he looked at the counter, a new hooker waitress would pop out and take his order. Coincidentally, one did. She looked a bit more classy than the last one. "Like, Hi~ What can I, like, get you guys?" Igirisu cringed at her language. Did she not know how to speak the god damn English language correctly? He gave them the damn language, for Christ's sake! He ignored it and ordered. "I want Earl Grey, with 1/3 cups of sugar, and a lemon on the edge of the cup." The girl looked confused, but she seemed to have written all that down. She looked at Raito. "I'll just have what he's having." She jotted that down on her pad and bounced off into the back. "So how are you today?" Raito looked at Igirisu. He was trying to start a little conversation. "I'm doing well. And you?" "Fine, thank you."

Hours passed and they were in a heated conversation. "I understand! You try so hard to do the right thing, but everybody thinks it's wrong!" Raito complained to Igirisu. "Yes. I honestly hate it! I worked hard to the bone for that little git, and what does he do? He starts a war for independence! How rude!" "Exactly!" Raito agreed. The same hooker waitress came back out with the bill. "Like, here you are~ Have a, like, totally awesome day~" She bounced off behind the counter where her and two other hooker waitresses started having a hot waitress hooker threesome. Raito looked at the bill. "I'll pay it." Igirisu shook his head, where his eyebrows were now happy and wholesome again. "No, no. I insist. Let me." Raito looked at him. "It's only 5 cents." Igirisu blinked. "Okay then." 5 cents? These hooker waitresses drove a hard bargain. Usually, he could get THREE cups of tea with a penny! Damn this economy...

"Hey. Why don't you come over to my place? Y'know, so we can talk more?" Raito looked over at Igirisu. "Erm, Okay." He replied. He bagan panicking on the inside. He actually had a friend! A real, non-magical friend! This was the greatest day of his life! Raito stood up. "Just come with me." Igirisu jumped up. "OKAY!" He was SOOOOO exicted to hang with his new gal pal. Or whatever they call them. He soon found himself looking up at Raito's cute little house. "When did we get in Japan...?" Nihon happened to be walking by. "Konnichiwa, Igirisu-San." Igirisu turned around. "Oh. Hi Nihon, old chap." Nihon continued walking. "C'mon. This way." Raito motioned for Igirisu to enter his humble abode. "This is a bloody nice house." Igirisu looked around. "Why thank you." Raito made this wierd ass derpy face and shit.

They began to have another conversation. It lasted for an hour and 43 minutes. Suddenly it got kinda quiet. "M-Mr. Raito...?" Igirisu looked over. "Yes?" Raito looked over. "I... I want you..." He was bright red. Raito got this wierd look on his face. Before he could ACTUALLY FUCKING REACT, tenticles came out of his eyebrows. Nihon peered through the window with a camera. "I've seen enough hentai to know where this is going..." He said to himself, taking pictures. Igirisu's tentacles ripped down Raito's pants and started spanking him. "OH YES." He screamed. "SMACK ME AND CALL ME A DIRTY WHORE MURDERER!" He got this wierd ass boner going. One of the tenticles wrapped around it and started pumping him. Another tenticle took out this HUGE ASS DILDO and started shoving it up his ass. Igirisu just stared as his browticles had their way with Raito.

They finally put him down and came back into his eyebrows. Raito was huffing and puffing. "I'm still so... hot..." He looked over at Igirisu. "Let me suck you off, bro." Igirisu shrugged. "Go for it."

So Raito gave Igirisu the GREATEST FUCKING BLOWJOB EVER and everyone lived happily ever after. The end~


End file.
